Offering Practical Advice And Effective Advocacy

How can I lessen the stress of divorce on my kids?

| Jun 28, 2021 | Divorce |

Divorce can be stressful. There is no way around that, even during a divorce where the couple agrees on everything. This is especially true when it comes to a divorce between a couple with kids. And, this is why most parents are looking for ways to lessen the stress divorce has on kids.

Regardless of the reason, keep do not tell the kids

Do not tell one’s kids that mommy was emotionally unavailable. Do not tell the kids that the divorce is because daddy drank too much. Do not tell the kids that mommy caused the divorce because mommy spent to much money or was having an emotional affair with a co-worker. In fact, unless there was actual domestic violence, do no discuss the specific reasons for the divorce or blame either parent. The problem with oversharing is that it can breed animosity towards one or both parents, destroying relationships and increasing stress. Even if it does not breed animosity, it can overwhelm and confuse children.

Do not let bad blood spill on the children

While it may feel good to make child support payments in pennies, this can cause chaos in the life of a child. The relationship one’s children have with their parents can shape and effect every relationship they have moving forward, and the negative emotions and actions aimed at one’s ex-spouse can also hurt the children. This is why it is so important to ensure that one interacts with their ex-spouse, at least, amicably. If that is not possible, then all interactions should be done through a neutral third-party, like an attorney.

Keep conversations neutral

When speaking about the divorce, try to keep conversations neutral, but honest. Talk about how much both parents love the children, but they will be sharing two homes and different times with the children. It is important to create a foundation that life will change, but that both parents’ goals is to care for the children. And, continually emphasize that the kids have nothing to do with the divorce because that is an internal fear almost all children of divorced parents carry with them, sometimes, throughout life. This needs to be consistently repeated over and over to ensure that those fears are not internalized.

Child custody help

For Houston, Texas, couples thinking about divorce, getting the help of an attorney early can help. The attorney can help with these types of fears to ensure that a divorce is as amicable and freeing as possible.